This past weekend, My Wife and I attended the marriage retreat for our church. We didn't go off to some far away place, but rather to Downtown Denver at the City Center Marriott. This would be the third marriage retreat we've been able to attend, and we've tried to enter it with an open mind as to what God has in store for us to learn or try to work out for us as a couple.
For us, the biggest take away was to pray together everyday. The couple who lead the lesson "Cloud 9" have a great morning ritual to wake up, sip some lattes and pray together. This is great when as a couple you work side by side, as they have for over 10 years. I'm not bitter about this, just challenged to have to wake up at dark thirty to pray, when I'm not very coherent. My Wife works what I call a straight week, where I am at the mercy of the flow of the restaurant business. As one of the guys at work said, "it's your own fault for being good at what you do." True, but if I could work similar hours as My Wife does, this isn't an issue.
Add to the mix that I'm disciplined or at least rhythmic in my daily routine, where my wife is not. She's working on it, and I'm proud of her trying to be some what routine in what she does, but this still doesn't excuse us from not praying together, daily. What is the priority? What are we try to achieve? What are the sacrifices we need to make? What is going to happen when our schedules change?
We've come up with some sort of game plan at this point. Since the nights I work, I ride the same bus home, I can call to nudge My Wife up, so we can pray before we are both in bed. I could just get out of bed when she finally gets up in the morning, but to me is too stressful and constrictive. We could just agree to pray together as often as we can (4/7 days). I'm not sure exactly what combination will work.
Another big point I know I took home was the whole idea of weekly dates. When we were dating we went out as often as we could, due to the fact we were doing the long distance thing, and we didn't see each other often. At the same time, when she came to town, I bent over backwards to take her places and see things that you find tourists doing, and these were great times together. Now, I cook for her, and it is not nearly as special as it was when were dating, but I do try to one up myself from time-to-time to keep myself on my toes to keep wooing her to me. When the whole class was surveyed, not too many of us went out 4out of the last 4weeks, we happened to have had some special days this past month to fall into the 3/4 category, but most of the couples fell into the 2/4 or lower categories. Convicting. I read recently that, "just because we're married doesn't mean we stop trying to win the love of our spouse." So I need to step this up.
Finally, My Wife and I were able to go out to dinner to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. I know, any respected culinarian wouldn't find themselves going out to eat at a steakhouse, but I love rich foods, and we were pretty much in the mood of some good food that most of the other attendants of the retreat wouldn't be going to. At just under $100 a couple, we had good food, and enjoyed some great conversation with some dear friends. We'll deal with small financial set back over the next few weeks, but as I see it, it is an investment in my marriage.
