I would like to congratulate Vince and Evania Ku on their marriage, have a great honeymoon.
From wedding to wedding, the customs are different every time you go to one. On Sunday, the coordinator made sure the happy couple had some time alone after the ceremony. Some one asked me, "what were they doing?" Cute? It comes to show the weddings this person had experienced, this didn't happen. When I asked the wedding coordinator if this was a new thing, she said it didn't happen back in the day of the old Kingdom. Something that I have seen more often out here is the "money or dollar dance," a custom to give the happy couple some spending money for the honeymoon. Amy and I were all up for it at our wedding, to ensure people could speak to us for few minutes, otherwise we didn't talk to many people. It was taken out of the events last minute, because it wasn't anything most of our families were used to.
It is these subtle things that make weddings so great. I kept saying to Amy, let's have our wedding all over again, only we don't plan it, just have it. We had a great time at our wedding and I know for a fact most of the guest there did as well. The customs vary even for the bridal party. I was given the task as look out as a groomsmen, which I thought was traditionally the best man's role. When I start thinking back though, I did the same thing for Bill, when his best man went MIA on us, for an hour or two. I also provided back up to the maid of honor to make sure the newlyweds were taken care of before their departure. It's the little tweaks from one wedding to the next that makes it fun.
Some customs, I'll never be a fan of though: serving the meal to the guests before the newlyweds; people leaving after the cocktail hour thinking that was the reception; receiving lines; guests leaving before the couple does, worst yet members of the bridal party; crashers to the ceremony; having the newlyweds visit every table; decorating the get away vehicle, just to name a few. Of course, if you are one of these people, I don't love you less, it is just something that I personally feel doesn't honor the couple on their special day.
At the same time, I love seeing my friends get married, especially special ones like Vince and Evania. When God sets up time and places for each one of us, he makes sure that special person is included in the set up. I would have never thought, when Vince started coming to kung fu class on Sunday mornings with his brother and mother, I would be part of the most important day of his life. I vividly remember taking him through basic exercises and his mother said to me, "he has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do."
"That's great, so keep the skills and loose the bad habits." Which I think has been the motto he's been living out every since. When he became a Disciple, he had already demonstrated a great deal of discipline and love that his tender and soft heart responded so well to the message of the Gospel.
What truly amazes me though, is the love that everyone shows to the couple on their special day. All those in attendance demonstrate that they love, honor and respect the couple in their vow to be faithful companions to one another. Amy and I have a saying that is engraved in my ring, "Forever is a long time." It is sarcastic, but this serves as a reminder that when it gets bad, like my wife violently elbowing me last night, in the bigger scope of things, it's like a little bit of sand in your shoe. You stop, take your shoe off, dump out the sand and keep moving.
I'm a bit glad the list of people I will be a part of their wedding is slowly getting shorter, at the same time, I'll miss having to put on a tuxedo. To me the tuxedo says to every one on the wedding day, I'm special to this couple. I have the trust of the couple to continually love and honor them. I am one of their go to friends and they love me, too. With the many parts a tuxedo has, it becomes a metaphor of the relationship you have with the couple. Pants that adjust to fit some one two sizes bigger than you, the funny shirt with studs to keep it closed, the vest that splashes more color for the all black suit, the tie that looks funny on its own, the jacket forever hot but completes the look. When I returned the tuxedo yesterday, I felt a sense of accomplishment, the special day was over, no one missed their cue and some where out there the couple is having a great time with one another.
